Not A Secret Anymore
by autumn midnights
Summary: Cousincest/femslash. Rose harbors a crush on her cousin Victoire, but tries to keep it secret. When they're made to kiss as a dare at Rose's eighteenth birthday party, sparks fly. Honorable mention in 'Coming Out Of The Closet Competition'


Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling. I'm just playing around with the characters. Nor do I own the lyrics above the story, which belong to True Affection.

This is for 'The Forbidden Love Competition' on HPFC, for 'Prompts, Oh, Prompts' thread on the Next-Gen Fanatics forum, for 'Coming Out Of The Closet - A Competition' on HPFC, and for 'I Kissed A Girl - A Competition' on HPFC.

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_I never felt so close  
I never felt so all alone_

_You were out of my league  
At a distance that I didn't wanna see_

_Lyrics from True Affection - The Blow_

"Seriously, Lily?" I ask, sighing. "Don't you think we're a little old for Truth or Dare? And it's a Muggle game, besides," I add. I don't particularly care about that, of course, but I'm hoping to appeal to some of the purebloods in the room, like Scorpius, who might not be thrilled about having to do something Muggle-related. Especially since we're in Malfoy Manor, because apparently Scorpius wanted to plan me a party. Which is sweet, I suppose, but it escalated into a huge bash with way too many people, since all of my cousins brought at least three of their friends.

"We're not too old," she replies. "You're turning eighteen, Rose, not sixty." She rolls her eyes. "Who's in?"

That turns out to be basically everybody, since those who want to play convince those who don't, until we're all seated in this awkward grouping that allows us to all see one another. Which is probably a bad thing, I think as my gaze flicks to Victoire for the tenth time. It would be better if I'm somewhere where I can't stare at my cousin, thank you very much. It's kind of annoying how I'm attracted to my own cousin - even James, who notices every female within the vicinity, has never said that one of his relatives looks hot. But no, it's me. It's bad enough that I'm the only person in the family who is attracted to people of the same gender, but now I'm crushing on my own cousin.

Isn't my life wonderful?

Lily starts the game off on a rather inappropriate note when she asks Alexandra Volante, James' on-and-off girlfriend, how many people she's slept with. Which would be an embarrassing question for anybody, but the fact that Alex actually has to think about it, and _guesses _that it's about eleven, makes it even worse. Not that she cares, of course; Alex is a very carefree person, and I've never seen her get embarrassed by anything, even her reputation for sleeping around.

The game continues. I'm trying to avoid eye contact with people so that they don't choose me, but unfortunately, Ryan Clement, Al's best friend, calls on me. "Hey, Rose! Birthday girl! It's your turn, truth or dare?"

I hesitate. If I choose truth, well, somebody might ask me who I fancy. And since I've never been a good liar, that's definitely a horrible idea. At least I won't be the first person to do something embarrassing, I think, glancing across the room at James, who is wearing nothing but boxer shorts. "Dare," I decide.

Ryan pauses. "Hmm...well, I think the possibilities are endless for this one. I dare you to kiss..." Merlin, I think. This could turn out pretty horribly. I glance around the room, hoping that it's somebody who wouldn't care, like Alex, or somebody who I've never even seen before and will never have to hang out with again, like one of the five people grouped around Lily. Somehow I doubt that, though, knowing Ryan. He likes to see people put into awkward situations. He pauses, looking around the room more than once, and then nods, satisfied. "I dare you to kiss Victoire."

"They're related!" Hugo gasps.

"I know, right?" I say unconvincingly. Wishing that I am a talented liar like Lily, which I'm definitely not, I say, "You can't make us do that."

"How old are you, thirteen? What, you've never made out with somebody on a dare or at a party before?" My silence is slightly embarrassing. "Just go kiss her. Hell, Rose, half the people in this party would love to make out with Victoire Weasley." Victoire blushes. She looks so much younger than twenty-four when she does that, and her petite figure simply emphasizes that. We both stand up and walk over to one another, staring at the ground the whole time, and then our lips meet for the first time.

I've kissed people before, although never like this, never just for the hell of it because of a dare. All my previous kisses were people that I actually dated, albeit not for long. I dated a few boys at Hogwarts, in an effort to try and see if I was really lesbian or not, and because it was easier than explaining to everybody that I didn't generally fancy boys. But even with the knowledge that this kiss with Victoire is just a one-time occurrence, that doesn't stop me from thinking that it's amazing. Her lips meld perfectly to my own, her soft figure pressed up against my body feels amazing, and I can't help but wish that we weren't related, and that this had a chance of being real.

We pull away at some point. I don't even know how long we kiss for, but it probably isn't a very long time. She looks slightly breathless, her face still flushed as we return to our separate seats. I want to relive that moment over and over and over again. I fidget, twisting my hands together, and trying to stare everywhere but at Victoire - even staring into the shadows at the corner of the room, which, being Malfoy Manor, look slightly ominous, is better than gazing at my cousin. I force myself to remember the fact that it's only one-time, but that's so hard.

I never knew, I muse, that it is possible to be alone in a crowd of people. It felt that way with Victoire - we were so close in that moment, it was as if we were completely alone, and nobody was even in the room. It feels that way now, also, because here I am, sitting here with my thoughts about my own cousin, while everybody else is normal. I can't picture anybody else feeling this way about somebody they're related to. I mean, Alex would shag anything human, to be honest, and Lily would probably make out with a cousin just to shock the adults, but it's different, what I feel. I love Victoire, and I've grown up with her. I know her well, and when somehow, my feelings transitioned to a crush, it is more than just the physical attraction. Victoire is amazing, not just because she's incredibly beautiful. She's nice, smart, funny, adorable...

"Rose!" Lily sighs. "Are you even paying attention?"

"Sorry. What?"

She gets up and I follow her as she goes to the drink table and filling a glass full of something that has way too much of a strong lemon-lime flavor in my takes a long sip of it. "You missed the best part. I dared Ryan Clement to kiss Al, since he dared you to kiss Victoire." She grins mischievously. "See how he likes it, you know. Of course, they aren't related, unfortunately, but still. At least they're both blokes."

I glance around the room. "Where are they now?"

"Al stormed out, muttering something about irritating sisters, and Ryan went to the loo to wash his mouth." Lily smirks and takes another long sip. "Merlin, revenge is fun."

I roll my eyes at her and look around the room again just as I see Victoire disappear upstairs. "I'll be right back," I say to Lily, dashing away from her and up the stairs, taking them two at a time. Victoire has a head start, and I'm not a particularly fast person, but I see a door at the end of the hallway shut. I hurry that way and open the door; she hasn't even bothered to lock it. "Victoire?" I say quietly. "It's me, Rose." She's flopped across a bed, which instantly brings several other images to my brain, images that I force myself to ignore. I head over to her.

"Hi," she says quietly.

"Are you all right?" I ask.

"I suppose," she responds. "You?"

"Yeah." I lay down next to her so that we can see each other. She glances at me once, then quickly turns away. I want to tell her how amazing that kiss was. How I could practically feel the chemistry between us, feel the sparks flying in the air. How if I had to make a Patronus, that would be the memory I'd choose to think of. I don't say anything, though, because she hasn't. I don't know what she's thinking. She doesn't even know I fancy girls; I've kept that secret without telling anyone for a while, because I have no idea how to start telling people. "Why'd you come up here?" I ask, hoping I'm not being _too_ probing. I have no idea what would make Victoire, who's popular and enjoys the company of people, leave the party atmosphere.

"I guess..." She pauses, taking a deep breath in. "I was just thinking about...you know. What happened. The kiss." She sits up, and I do too; she stares at the bed, picking at a loose thread and avoiding eye contact. She laughs self-consciously. "I was expecting it to be really weird - no offense, Rose - because I've never kissed a girl before, and you're my cousin, but...it wasn't really weird. It was..."

"Good," I finish, a thrill sweeping through my body. Victoire didn't mind kissing me. I want to lean over and do it again, but I refrain from doing so. She nods, looking shy, and again appearing younger than she really is. "I have something to tell you as well. I...I fancy girls."

"Well, at least this is the perfect time to tell me," she says, shrugging. "I mean, considering that...I didn't really mind kissing you."

"Same here," I breathe.

"But we're related and all...and you're so, I don't know, you're just amazing." I let out some noise, somewhere between a snort and a gasp, if such a thing is even possible. Victoire, calling me amazing? She's part-Veela, for Merlin's sake, not to mention she's six years older and totally, completely out of my league. She's gone through several boyfriends, she's well on her way to becoming a teacher at Hogwarts, and she's one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen. "Believe it, Rose. Look, all those people downstairs came to your party."

"They're all friends of my relatives," I argue. "They're not here for me."

"But...Rose, if they didn't like you, or barely knew you, then how come they're all there? All those people like you. Merlin, you've practically united the Houses - you know people from all four are down there right now. I'm just me."

"You're astounding," I whisper. "You're more than 'just you'. You're beautiful." I lean against her, and she pulls me even closer. Our lips brush, a gentle touch that leaves me craving more. Not for the first time I realize that the two of us are on a bed, and my thoughts are turning rather inappropriate. I glance at the door, flicking my wand toward it so that it slams shut. "I don't know about you, but I'm not really in the mood to go back quite yet," I say.

"Me neither," she responds. "Let's stay here for a little while longer. But," she adds, grinning in a rather mischievous, Lily-esque way, "I think we have better things to do than talk."

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**You have no idea how many times I revised this...I practically wrote several different Rose/Victoire fics before finally deciding on this one. And now I have to remember to link it to the various things I entered this in, haha. Anyway, thanks for reading, and please review!**


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